I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
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The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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