CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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