I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
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Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
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Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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