there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
