She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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