Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
