Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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