I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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