I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
