It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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