oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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