There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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