after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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