So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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