Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
