Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
