Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Dick very happy bro
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
