just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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