Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
