i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
