This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
