There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
