Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
