i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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