she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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