i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
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