dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
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I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
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My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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