Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
