Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Drunk is a universal language darling
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
