Operation Purity has been aborted
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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