I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
