Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
