but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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