CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
