i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, be my cock's hype man.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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