i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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