He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
