he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
