I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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