Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
