return my video game
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
