This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
thus making me awesome and them whores
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
