Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
