i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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