my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
