Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
