i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
