This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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