PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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