I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
