Me. At least after what I've been through.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
