My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
So many bounce houses so little time
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
