Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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