she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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