I wanna passion pit in your ass
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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