His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
that is very illegal...i love you.
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