And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
