..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
