I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
