Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
You can't special order awesome
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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