Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
