ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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